It's funny. Four years since I last wrote here, nothing changes and history repeat itself. Maybe I am to blame, maybe fate is playing against me. I don't know what it is, but here I am back to square zero. I did think that it might be different this time, I had that thought initially, I thought maybe there's that 0.1% chance. I tried to play it a bit differently this time, but by the time I realised that it's just history repeating itself, it was too late. It was way too late, I've fallen in dip pit and I couldn't get up. Two years after that initial meeting, I am back at my starting point 12 years ago. Honestly, I trully gave my all, I put way more effort than any other thing in life, but in the end, these effort became a boomerang. It hits me right in the face and because of these desire and wants, its pushing the other party away. So here I am, just getting crushed again and again, feeling rather helpless and everyone pointing fingers at my foolishness.
