What does a normal day looks like?

I think I must be crazy for keeping these feelings for so long
Such a fool for not being able to let go
Keep thinking why and why
And I can never find an answer to it
I myself don't know why
But it's happening
For so so long
That I prob have forgotten how to live normally
What does a normal day looks like when I don't have to think about you
Or wonder about what you're doing
Or care who you interact with
Or not feel hurt coz of the stupid little things
I've forgotten how to live normally like a normal person
Coz I've been living like a fool for so long
That I don't know how to change
And prob don't even want to change anymore

Still at point A

It's been almost a year since I told you the truth
And 4 years 9 months and 11 days in total since that day..
And I am still at point A..
No matter what I do
No matter how I get on with my life
You're still a big part of it
There is no way for me to not care for you
And without a doubt, I still like you a lot.

I just feel like bursting at times
Coz everything is just so intense
I wanna know so much about you
I want to ask so many things
I want to talk to you
I wanna be a part of you
I want to give everything to you
But of course, these are the things that I am still learning to suppress