Goals

I'm honestly scared right now,, really scared of my results :( I can't stop thinking about it. Esp, knowing that next year is gna be much harder.. this is gna be a big challenge for me. I decided to create goals for next year. I wanna achieve something more. I'm gna be 18 soon, I have to grow up and be more mature. I can't lay back, be lazy and slack a lot anymore, I have to be more hard working. Successful people reach their place coz of hard work. Honestly, I don't think I have work hard all these times. I wanna change and I will try my best to change. Here are my goals..

1. Attend all lectures and tutorials, do tute questions, and study!!

2. Spiritually, I wanna read the bible everyday, and finish 1 the whole bible in one year

3. On the other side, I wanna practice piano as much as possible

4. I wanna try lead piano in my ministry

I think for next year, I wanna focus on those aspects first. I think they are the most important things for me now. I hope I can achieve this goal. And God,, pleasee.. let me pass all my unitsss >.<

My Current Life

So it's holiday now.. suppose to be a good time where I can enjoy life.. well it has been quite alright, I'm still worried about my result :( Idon't know what to expect any more. I don't wanna think about the worst, but it's always on my mind. Well other than this, I'm starting to take jazz piano lesson, which I'm really excited abouttt!! =) jazz is.. my passion.. well I mean.. I'm not good at it or whatever, but whenever I hear someone playing jazz music.. there's this adrenalin rush through my blood. There's this certain excitement within me, I'm just so in love with jazz music. It's one of the thing that I love so much. Although until now I still can't play jazz, but I'd love to do so. That's why I'm taking all this lesson, coz I know I'm not one of those people who are talented in music or whatsoever, I need someone to guide me through. I'm not a self-learner either. I tend to like instruction given to me rather than trying it myself.

If one day I can play jazz like a pro.. that literally means a dream come true. It has been my dream recently, and I still don't know whether I can achieve it or not, but hopefully I will. And I will try to practice hard to be able to achieve that. For those who always doubt me or criticize how bad I am.. although they didn't say it, but I know, I will prove to them that I can do it!

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Have you ever been in love?

Do you think it’s wrong to love?

Tell me what should I do

I’m lost in confussion

They told me it’s childish to be jealous

They told me it’s wrong to love you

But what can I do now?

It all has happened

I can’t turn back time

Maybe it was a big mistake loving you

But the feeling is there now

I can’t stop loving you

I tried to forget about you..

But you are very unforgettable

Every single thing reminds me of you

You’re just glued to my mind

Tell me what to do

I’m so lost and helpless

Unforgettable - Nat King Cole

Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable, thought near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before
has someone been more
Unforgettable, in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
that someone so unforgettable
thinks that I am
unforgettable too
No, never before
has someone been more
Unforgettable, in every way
And forever more, that's how you stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
that someone so unforgettable
thinks that I am
unforgettable too

This song is.. true.. except the part where I am unforgettable is not true.. hahaha.. haizz.. it's hard to forget about someone.. still trying trying and trying.

Rating My Life

yo yo yo people... I meant to study now! but I'm not =.= sighhhhh... yesterday.. I did practically nothing.. today.. I started my study.. but mostly I've been wasting time and this is SUPER BAD! exam is in 2 days times. This is the only unit that I can certainly do well on, after screwing up the rest. So if I screw this one.. that I'm doomed. Sooooo I better STUDY!!!! yet I'm here.. hahaha. Speaking of which, I've been thinking a lot lately.. about nearly everything.. well my life.. and some other things. So here are my rating for my life..

Family - 8.5/10

Financial - 8.5/10

Love - 1/10

Appearance - 6/10

Intellegence - 7.5/10

Friendship -7.5/10

So pretty much.. I'm a lucky girl hey. From my point of view.. I do have a good family and financially I'm alright. I have some good friends which I'm happy. I dont think I'm that dumb.. but not super smart either. Appearance.. hrmm.. average I'd say. Love life.. ermm.. yeah.. never talk about that.. hahahaha.. oh well. I think I'm happy =)

Putting My Trust in God

Well, honestly speaking, putting your full trust on Him is not that easy. It is now exam times.. my first exam went really bad. Yeah.. one of the worst exam. I did study for it.. maybe not enough and I did pray as well. I don't know whether I'll pass the unit or not. But I have faith that I will although it seems impossible. But I believe God will make the impossible possible. In my eyes, it might be really bad.. But never doubt God's power. I want to stop looking back and move on. Coz there's nothing I can do now, all I can do is pray, surrender, have faith, and put my trust in Him. Whatever result comes out.. I shall give thanks. The 2nd exam.. was alright I guess. Hmm.. not quite sure.. but yeah. But for this unit.. I did really badly in the midsem.. So I have to get a certain mark in the exam to get above 65.. which is the min mark for this unit.. ( damn actuarial! ) It's certainly possible.. but once again.. I have to put my trust in Him. Now.. I just want to surrender.. and move on, study for my next exam.. and I thank God for everything.