Secretly Admiring

Have you ever secretly admired someone and never be able to express the feeling?
Raise your hand if you do! There are a few reasons why we can't say love to the object of our affection. First, they already have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Second, he/she is just unreachable (differences in social status, economy, even sexual orientation). Third, it's better to secretly love them rather than making them your girl/boyfriend. According to some people, they choose to be the third one as it won't lead into any complication and they can still love them without ruining the relationship.

Admiring someone from a distance has its own beauty. I think, keeping someone from a distance is actually harder than pulling someone to be really close. Let say, I'm someone who's full of confident. Then when I like someone, I will just make them mine straight away. But to keep someone from a distance and still keeping in touch with them, that's the beauty that has its own pleasure.

Imagine a kite. Between the string that is attached between the holder and the kite, there's a big distance. Sometimes, the kite will go closer and sometimes it will go further. As high as it can go, as long as the string is still attached, the holder will always be able to see the kite in the blue sky. The kite game is very fun. Can we imagine playing the same game to the person that we secretly admired?

When we love someone from a distance, we only see the beauty of it. It's like when we view the mountain that is very pretty from far away. Lets try to hike the mountain and we will know how cruel it is. Loving someone from a distance means we crystallized their beauty and won't be disturbed by all of their weaknesses as a human.

Sadly, not everyone is able to do that. When the desire to get closer and a strong will can't be restrained, many will end up doing stupid things that they later regret. In many cases, distance is safety. But distance can also be an emptiness that longs to be filled. The ability to secretly loving someone from a distance is a love pleasure that has a different feeling.

With technologies and the presence of social media, what's interesting from secretly admiring someone is of course reading what our object of affections writes. Never forgets and always make a time to know how they are doing. What differentiates between reading the person that we like and those who we secretly admired is of course the feeling when you read their writings. To those who we secretly admired, there's no feeling of heartache or disappointment or anger when we know their thoughts and feelings. What's there is feeling of happiness and joy looking at them growing and be more mature.

In my case, secretly loving someone means viewing them from a distance, but still keep them as a close friend. If I can't be a close friend, then it's still fine. It's enough by only admiring them from a distance, as there's pleasure that doesn't differ much from kissing our lover. Secretly loving someone means secretly having them in our heart, filling the empty space that can't be replaced.

- Translated from Indo Article -

Sydney or Perth ?!?!

Sydney Perth Sydney Perth Sydney Perth ?!?!!?!??!
SIGHHH.. I honestly HATE making decisions.
And I always don't know what I want which makes it even harder
I think the last major decision I made was doing Actuarial or Architecture
Which I think was stupid for even considering archi.. =.=
Anyway.. This is even a more life changing thing.
Hmm..What I hope.. Rather than considering master in perth or syd.. The best solution is get a job in Melb!! hhaha.. Found this PERFECT job advertised but then.. I really don't know if I can get it or not.

Graduate Role
Risk Analyst
GE - good company
60k plus i think
Melbourne

= DREAM JOB

Well not dream job, but it's what I want. Anyway.. that's just the really uncertain solution. And a miracle if it really come true. On the other side.. sydney or perth. Let see why I wanna move and why I don't

SYDNEY:
- after consulting with many people, they said I should move. Hm.. When I think about it.. Yes.. In the long term it's probably better.. Great Uni.. New life.. But the downside. It's expensive there! rent etc.. its crazy. I honestly feel really bad for my parents. I could tell that they want me to stay in Perth. I mean I could save 10k plus a year if I stay in Perth. But anyway.. thoughts of mine. I'm scared the uni is really hard that I'm going to struggle a lot coz I've been very dependent with my friends. But maybe I'll try harder. New life.. new love? I don't know. I think I can get over that person if I move. And prob find someone else? dunno. I'm scared of change.. finding new friends won't be easy. I'm scared to be lonely there =s

PERTH:
- Well.. Good thing is I could save a lot of money by staying in Perth. Everything is pretty much there for me. Nothing to worry. I'm so used to with everything. I have everything there! Have all my friends too. Curtin is easier.. Still got friends there. And I could study with that person. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I might suffer even more. But I don't know. I think it's not good for the long run. But then.. it's tempting after all. Hm.. UWA is not that bad. But I don't know.. It doesn't really appeal to me. Plus I can prob learn to drive find a good casual job.

I don't know if it's that bad staying in Perth. Why does everyone wanna move to a bigger city? I mean.. That has obviously come across my mind.. Hence why I even considered Sydney. But when I think about it again. I really love my comfort zone. Really love it. At some point, I sort of made a decision that I Should stay in Perth. But now after talking to that person who advice me to move, I'm re-thinking everything again! Wanting to be independent? Lots of people want that. Then I think to myself. Why do I not want to move? Oh I forgot.. I have been independent for years! Yes.. staying in perth and moving to syd is the same. Maybe at this point my heart still wants to stay in perth. But what made me waver is the fact that everyone said it's better to move and I know the reason why. I know it's better. But i still feel a bit reluctant about it. I like my life. Well not always. But it's not bad. IM STIL CONFUSED AFTER ALL. Talking to many ppl even made me more confused! I really can't decide. Why can't the perfect solution come true? That's the only thing I can think abt!!!