In a normal situation, when a relationship does not work out, it's understandable if you walk away and end it. And that's probably what to expect and what a normal people would do. But in an abnormal situation, I guess it's harder to understand. Normally, you would walk away with a hope of finding a new person that can work out for the future. But when things just wouldn't work out, why should there a reason to move on? Give me one good reason.
So for the past 11 years, when you keep liking someone whom you can never be with, you just get used to that fact. Of course on the back of your mind, you would still hope that things would work out with the next person, but knowing that it won't it's nothing new. And of course, every time it ended the pain never gets any better. You just don't get used to pain.. A pain is still a pain and it hurts every single time. And who in the right mind want to experience pain multiple times? So if you're asking me to move on, you're asking to experience the exact same pain all over again. You might think that the next person will like me back the way I like them, but if that were to happen, why hasn't it been happening for the past 11 years? The fact is every single time, after getting over someone, the same case happens again and again, that I'm just so sick of it. So I made myself just stick to one person, just at least let me like you. Can't you understand the logic?!?!?! Why can't anyone understand this logic. Like if there was a hope that it will work out in the future maybe I will try to move on, but really when the chance of everything repeating all over again is probably 99.9999999999%... Tell me why should I even bother?
I know that we won't ever have a relationship. But I just want to be your best friend.. Someone you can talk to and want to talk to and have fun with, etc. Am I asking too much? I don't give a damn of your future relationship. I'll just be happy for you. But when it comes to friend, I just want to be the number one :( Of course that won't happen in a millions years no matter how much I tried even though logically it shouldn't be impossible.
