I always thought to myself, maybe if I don't talk to you long enough, you will wonder why I haven't said anything. Maybe somehow, you will say hi and ask how I'm doing. So I keep on waiting, despite wanting to talk to you so much, I restrain myself from typing in that screen. I thought if I just wait a little longer just a little longer, miracle will somehow happen. So I keep on waiting and wishing that miracle will happen some day. Soon enough, I'm hoping. And it turns out that it's always just an empty hope. No, you're probably just too busy to have just a little bit of thoughts. I'm only asking for a bit. So I can't even have just that much? They say I should lower down my expectation, you say I should lower down my expectation, but I really don't think its so high anyway. So I don't understand. What really went wrong, what have I done wrong, why is it like this. I don't understand. And it keeps on hurting. So I just cry cry and cry, and it's just always so damn tiring. My soul will run out in no time. I just don't know what to do anymore. How to live this life. It's just dark, lonely and cold.