Unlike
physical pain/injury, this is a soul hurt, you can feel it physically, but
there's nothing you can do about it.. you can go out, you can try to have
fun... you can try to enjoy life, but at the end of the day, you're laying
there alone, and just want to cry yourself asleep. And unlike cheating, which
can give you a reason to get over it, you cling to it and cling to it. Then you
feel like there is no way you could ever be loved again... could ever love
again. Unlike labor, or any of those other things, it does not pass in a few
days or weeks, you feel it for much longer. Then you don't eat, and you don't
sleep and you get sick with something too, but you don't care enough to try and
get better. More than that, everything you do do becomes mechanical. You can't
focus on anything. You can only manage tasks requiring your hands, not your
mind. It goes from a ripping pain to sheer numbness. Then people go on to tell
you that all it takes is time, time, time, time. But time doesn't move fast
enough. And you don't even know if you want to get over it, because you don't
know if you can ever love again. I know that pain very well... and not only to
lose that love, but to lose friends at the same time... it hurts horribly bad.
Every breathe is painful... you wonder why you even bother.... yea, I know that
feeling. And no, there's nothing worse.... well, yea, there is, think you're
loved, and then told you're not, then be told you're loved as more than a
friend but less than a lover, then be told you can be friends and not only have
that friendship, but several others ripped out from under you and have to
pretend that nothing is wrong. Yea.... that old familiar pain.
I know that pain.
